I remember so vividly the Easter before my son died. I remember so clearly thinking and saying, “Life is so great right now. Everything is so perfect!” I felt blessed, lucky, happy. Three days later my son was diagnosed with brain tumor and my world fell apart. After feeling that life couldn’t get any better just days before, here I was in the bottom of a hole, trying to understand what was whirling around me. I couldn’t make sense of it.
I have had several years to process these moments, 6 1/2 years to be exact. The pain is still raw at times and I never stop missing my son. However, I have come to many realizations. My life, my perfect life 6 years ago was far from perfect. It was full of busy, full of activity, full of friends and full of engagements. What it lacked was time with God. I believed in God and I never doubted His promises for me and my family, but I did not take the time to listen to Him or to read His Word. I was too busy.
As I grieved my son and as I continue to grieve him, I have given myself an opportunity to slow down in my life. I have even come to a halt at times. I have allowed myself to “Be Still, and know that He is God.” (Psalm 46:10) I have redefined “perfect” and “important” in my family’s life. I have realized that God has plans for me and I was too busy to hear Him trying to talk to me. I was satisfied with my mediocre plans that couldn’t be great if created only by me. I learned that greatness comes through God alone. Perfection is God alone. Lucky doesn’t exist and happiness is a state of mind, not a life style. Blessings are given freely to those who are willing to accept them.
These life lessons have helped me grieve. They have placed a peace in my heart that cannot come from earthly things. They do not negate the loss of my son, rather they embrace it and help me grow from it. These lessons have redefined my life and have helped me put my priorities where they need to be, with God first and Family second, no exceptions.
My heart aches when I see others who have not figured out this beautiful gift yet, but I continue to pray for all. I pray that others can learn to slow down and listen to God. God has plans for each and every one of us that are Greater than we can even imagine! God can help us through our trials, but we need to know how to stop and listen. God can lift us up in good time and in difficult times. He is always there, we just need to recognize this and accept it.
My life still has difficulties, just like yours does! My daughter’s fight, everyday, my cat and dog wreck things and make me angry, my house is never clean enough and I am constantly doing laundry, grading papers and struggling to keep up with one thing or another. The difference in my life now is that I recognize when I need to stop. I recognize when I am piling on too much. I recognize when I need to pray more and listen more. And for that I am grateful!
God has Greater plans for me and I will not miss out on them because I am too busy! Are you ready for your Greater plans from God?
To join the GREATER Online Bible Study by Steven Furtick, visit www.MelissaTaylor.org to register. It is FREE and FABULOUS! You won’t regret it!